Today I was trying to do my job with more love than usual. I tried to look for the good things, and see the kindnesses, and to infuse all I did with your love.
I failed a little.
I mean, being kind to the kids is easy. I was collecting hugs and smiles everywhere. It's not even a challenge to show the school kids that they are worth my time, and valuable. It just seems so natural. Perhaps I even take PRIDE in my work with the kids. It's the really bad habits I have that are so ingrained that I did battle with today. Truly sinful behaviors, like SLOTH, and, well... SLOTH. I'm still recovering from the retreat weekend (which was marvelous) and I just wanted to nap on the couch.
So I was ENVIOUS of the people on couches today! And GLUTTONY has been a problem all day. I discovered that you CAN make chocolate pudding with almond milk (the cooked kind of pudding that forms the skin on top, which is the epitome of delicious!) So, to celebrate this discovery, I ate the whole bowl. Sheesh! I'm so glad I didn't make cookies, or I'd have eaten them too! I wouldn't have shared a single one, as I would have devoured them with AVARICE (greed). Anyone who touched my cookies would incur my WRATH!!! I won't even discuss the LUST in my heart regarding these cookies that now haunt my thoughts.
So here I am, trying to do better by doing all that I do with extra love, and I discover a problem with my plan. I am ignorant. I try to do better, when I don't really understand what it is I'm doing poorly to begin with. Take the 7 Deadly Sins, for example. I just mentioned all 7 of them, with an example of what they are not. To see what they REALLY are, follow the link below:
http://catholicexchange.com/seven-capital-sinsYou may notice the words "inordinate" or "culpable" and "undue". I don't think eating the pudding was a great idea, but I also didn't eat it as my children sat by and starved. Lust has nothing to do with cookies. Wrath is not the right word for asking someone to leave my cookies in the cookie jar. It may just be "mildly crabby" on my part.
So, maybe tomorrow I try again. I'll try sharing your love, and being aware of these 7 Deadly Sins, I will practice their opposites. I will exchange chastity for lust, generosity for greed, temperance for gluttony, brotherly love for envy, meekness for anger, humility for pride, and diligence for sloth.
Please help me to be a virtuous woman, pleasing to you.
Love,
Me
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