It's baseball season, and the sun was shining, and God was smiling down! Luke took the kids up to the school to play baseball/softball. I put the slash because he actually brings a bucket of each, baseballs and softballs. The girls hit the softballs and the boys hit the baseballs, and he is all-time pitcher. This may surprise you, but as of last year's Mother's Day, I own my own mitt. It's purple!
Softball has never been my sport. Well, the way it's supposed to be played isn't my sport. I enjoyed my version of it when I was a kid, because I was always in the outfield where I could pick a million dandelions and sing whole songs to myself, and even dance like Julie Andrews on a hilltop before the coach noticed I wasn't paying attention. Then she'd yell at me, but she never removed the cigarette, so I never really knew what she was saying. That, and the fact that my hills were alive out there, and I didn't really care what she was saying, and I had the attention span of a fruitfly may have added to my lack of love for the game.
I liked to hit, but I was always afraid of the ball. When it was my turn to bat, I'd get all flinchy and dodge out of the way when the ball came. Even playing in the backyard with Dad (and every kid in the neighborhood) I seemed to take more than my share of being hit with the ball. I'd get up to bat, see something shiny, and bap! Right in the head. Tears, a bag of ice, now I'm a spectator. I'd get back out there in my beloved outfield. "The Hills are Alive..." Bap! I'm out again.
One of my kids is a little afraid of the ball right now. It won't last. We're going through that time when everything has a whole list of potential outcomes. When you are creative enough to imagine amazing and wonderful things, you can also imagine horrible and terrifying things. It is the down-side of creativity. I have to admit, I'm right there with him. Today I wasn't afraid to stand in front of the ball and swing the bat, then I RAN!! I ran to first base, then I got afraid again. (These days I'm more flinchy about running!) I hit several times, and got used to running to first. I even ran to get the ball when it was my turn in the field. It's funny, because I kept hearing music, and Sylvia was over on third singing 70's songs!
It started getting late, so I walked home with my son and we talked about our fears. We decided that we weren't going to let the fear of getting hurt get in the way of our fun times. We decided we weren't going to let fear stop us from doing things we really want to do. We thought maybe we could both look around a minute when we start to get scared, and take a look at the situation. I didn't get shocked today. I did get to play with my kids and husband, and enjoy the fresh air, and RUN! Nothing to fear, here! He did get hit with the ball today, but it only hurt for a few minutes. Then he chose to play some more anyway. Brave choice!
I guess that's the point. Every once in a while I get stuck in my fears again. It's a lot easier to hide and pretend that you are just fine without working towards your hopes and dreams. It's WAY less stressful to just stick to your same old stuff, never trying to make things better. Life is an amazing adventure! If you cover your eyes, you miss the whole ride. I'm not willing to miss any more today. Or tomorrow. Maybe I'm greedy, but I want the whole experience! I want to bat, and RUN!, and sing in the outfield! I won't let fear keep me from being me. I hope you won't either.
No comments:
Post a Comment