I went to the doctor yesterday, and started the process of tweaking my medications so that I can exercise safely. We adjusted some dosages, and I am expected to attempt some regular mild exercising daily to see how well it is tolerated. On the way home I realized what I have done. I just threw away my own crutches! I have given away my really good excuse for not being an active, healthy person. What am I doing? I mean really, who would blame me if I sat out the activities, I have HEART DISEASE! What if my defibrillator goes off, I'd better sit on my can and do NOTHING! What was I thinking pursuing this with the doctor? I could have sat out for the rest of my life without anyone knowing I was just plain lazy. But oh no! I needed to know if I COULD do these things, so here we go.
In three months I will do a "stress test", which means I get on a treadmill and run until I wear out or my heart rate gets funky (which usually happens first). This time, I'm going to run until my heart actually begins to go into Ventricular Tachycardia. (Or V-tach for you medical drama fans.) This is when your heart rate gets too fast for normal function. After that comes Ventricular Fibrillation (V-Fib) when the heart is worn out, and kind of confused from all that fast beating, and just kind of shakes because it can't pump that fast. For most people, that's when the paddles are out and someone is yelling "Clear". For me, I'm about to give a yelp like a dog that just hit the invisible fencing line, while 35 joules of electricity are released into my cardiac tissue from my little friend, the ICD. It's kind of like getting kicked and grabbing an electric fence at the same time.
So, enough about me, let's talk about your heart issues. The other heart rhythm problem I didn't tell you about is called Bradycardia. That's when your heart is pumping so slowly that the blood can't really get a good ride around the body. It sounds a little like this Boom ............................... Boom ....................... Boom...............Boom.................................Boom.............................Booooom................................. Strangely enough, that is also sometimes what our spiritual pulse is like. I'm doing just enough to get by. Boom. I show up, but don't really pay much attention. Boom. I say no to every opportunity that presents itself, because I'm tired. Boom. Leave me alone, I just don't have the time. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! (That is the sound of a flat line.) That's when the heart is done and it just stops. It can happen in our spiritual life, as much as it happens in our cardiac tissue.
How about the spiritual version of tachycardia? I'm sure you've seen it. You may have even had an attack of it. You start off fine, helping out with a project. (Boom). Then another. (Boom). Then they need (boom) some help in the nursery (boom) so you just (boom) help out for a while (boom). Then (Boom) You are (boom) the coordinator (boom) and ladies group (boom) and home (boom). Don't (boom) forget about (Boom) teaching (boom). (Boom) (Boom) Youth (boom) ministry (boom) nuns (boom) boom boom boom boom. Here we are in V-fib. (Wiggle, wiggle) We think we're doing all these things, but there is no blood (spirit, love) moving through this body.(Wiggle wiggle) We flounder and we fail because we couldn't find the right rhythm. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Flat lined again. Now what?
Some people never recover and just remain spiritually dead. I wonder if Jesus has paddles and yells "Clear", because there have certainly been a lot of times when he "shocks" us back to spiritual life. When my nephew Matt nearly died at the age of 4 months, that was a huge shock. It awoke a lot of hearts. If we're really REALLY fortunate, someone who loves us comes along and does CPR. They help us Consider our Part of the Relationship (to the Creator). Once we remember who it is God invites us to be (and who he has NOT asked us to be) we can get into a right rhythm. Sometimes we have to go through a Spiritual version of Cardiac Rehab to work our hearts back to a healthy rhythm a little at a time. Some people are meant to beat faster. For them that's healthy. Some are a little slower, and that's just right for them. You have to find the beat that God designed for you.
Then you need to ask the Holy Spirit to be your personal pacemaker. Please, Holy Spirit, when I'm doing too much, help me recognize it and slow down safely, without crashing. Please Holy Spirit, if I'm not doing enough, help me to find the love I'm lacking. Help me to pick up my pace, and be the child of God that I was called to be. Help us to love you just right, and fill all of our hearts with the perfect rhythm of your love.
Blessings!
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