The Answer is Blowing in The Wind!

Luke and I went for a walk today, and it was beautiful outside!!!!  Sylvia rode along on her bike, and a good time was had by all.  When we got around the block, Sylvia couldn't get her bike to go.  I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "The wind keeps blowing me back!" Without even thinking, I answered her.  "You have to push harder and be stronger than the wind."  Hmmm.

This sent my mind reeling, and I instantly knew that advice was for me.  It's been another one of those days when my heart won't beat right, and it makes me uncomfortable and anxious.  I look outside and I just want to run and play, but the "wind" of fear keeps pushing me back.  This fear is rational.  I've felt my defibrillator go off before, and it really sets me off for a while, but what else am I going to do?  If I really want to live my life fully, I have to learn to be stronger than the wind, right?  Maybe.   

I tried to hide from this wind, and avoid the things I really want to do.  I almost went stir crazy sitting in the house with all that WARMTH outside!   So I made a better choice. I went outside and sat.  I watched the kids play, enjoying their laughter and the fun of the games they were playing.  I wasn't really pushing against the wind, just letting it rush over me and past me.  I sat in the presence of the warm breeze, and saw that it was not my nemesis after all.  There was nothing to fear here.  It's just a bunch of kids in shorts throwing tennis balls at each other. I love these kids, and their energy is contagious.  Soon I was ready for the next step.   

Literally, I stepped off the porch.  (I mentioned already, Luke and I went for a walk, right?) I pushed back against my fears.  I WILL walk around the block. I WILL walk against this wind, and I will push and push and become STRONGER than this wind!  Sylvia's Daddy gave her a push to help her get up enough speed to fight the wind's resistance.  He also gives me LOTS of pushes to overcome my own resistance.  I love him for it, even though I don't tell him enough.  Too often, I'm like the little kid version of myself, "I can do it myself!"  

I walked around the block, then I walked up and bought a gallon of milk.  It seems so uneventful, but inside of me, a great battle was being waged.  Today I was stronger than the "wind".  What wind do you battle?  Will you hide from it?  Will you make peace with it?  Will you be stronger than the wind that keeps blowing you back to where you've already been?  

I wish you a happy bike ride.