One of the things our family does during Lent is to follow the "Way of the Cross". When you visit a Catholic Church, you may notice there are 14 pictures on the walls depicting the events leading up to the Resurrection. These are called the "Stations of the Cross", and we pray them together as a parish every Friday during Lent. I have yet to make it through this prayer without using a very large quantity of tissue.
We are using a new booklet this year for this prayer, and it is credited to Pope John Paul II, who I thought was pretty cool. Did you know he was an actor as a younger man? Anyway, I digress. This is a part of the opening prayer that really grabbed me, since I think God wrote my thoughts:
"Bless us with the grace of inner vision
so we may see you among us,
and seeing you,
may open our hearts to you."
That's what I'm trying to do. That is the blessing I'm hungry for. So I pray along with my church friends and family. We walk through the Garden of Olives as Jesus prays there. Basically, he's scared. So am I. Father let this cup pass from me, but not my will, but yours be done. How many times have I prayed that? Divorce--let this cup pass. Miscarriage--not my Will. Death--your will be done. Over and over. One with Jesus in prayer. That's the goal. One with Jesus.
Then Jesus is betrayed by Judas and we walk right into the scene. "Hey, Rabbi!" kiss kiss "How you doin'?" kiss kiss. Every cell of my being screams, "NO! Judas, you're choosing death!" But the deal is done. You know, he regretted it. He tried to return the money, but they just laughed at him. He threw the money into the temple and hanged himself. He could have asked for forgiveness. Peter did. The book of Acts says his guts splatted out. Ick.
Next, Jesus is condemned to death. He becomes a death row inmate. I met Sister Helen Prejean the death row activist that the movie "Dead Man Walking" was made about. She's amazing. Did anyone offer him comfort? Did he have a Sister Helen? Apparently not, because at the next station, Jesus is denied by Peter.
Peter that used to be Simon. Peter the fisher of men. Peter his right hand man! The Rock on whom Jesus would build his Church stood by a fire and warmed himself and at one point, it says he "uttered an oath" (cussed) that he did NOT KNOW JESUS! He said it THREE TIMES!! Then the rooster crowed. Then Jesus looked him in the eye. Then the rock cried. Jesus forgave him. Three times He specifically asked Peter if he loves him. Three times Peter forgave him. Do you love Him? How many times will He ask you?
Next, Jesus goes to Pilate. Pilate tried to let him go, but oh no! Pilate kept on trying to set him free with just a little flogging and a harsh warning, but we wouldn't have it! That's right, WE! Crucify him! Crucify Him! My sins keep calling out! Let his blood be on us and our children!! (I'll blog more about the blood at a later date.) This part is very troubling to me. You know I'm crying. I can't even get myself to say those words. How can I demand the blood of the innocent to cover the sins I am CLEARLY guilty of? I was there. I chose. He didn't do anything wrong! Pilate keeps saying it, but the evil inside of us cheers the louder. Crucify Him! It's ironic, though that the evil that crucified him was what he came to destroy. The sin that pins him to the cross can't trump the love that sets him free from the tomb.
Next Jesus gets flogged and crowned with thorns. Mocking makes me nauseous. Seriously. You've already decided to crucify this guy (this INNOCENT guy), mocking him is just too much. The funny thing is that everything they said to mock him was actually true, but they were too blind to see it. King of the Jews! Yep. Royal robes? He's got 'em. Crown? Yes, but not thorns.
Now he's carrying his own cross. Actually he's carrying my cross...and yours. Jesus didn't have any sins. That's our burden he's carrying. And even though he was scared to the point of sweating blood, he was still willing to do it. Because HE LOVES YOU! Jesus, why do you keep forgiving me when I keep sinning? "Because I love you! Come and get your love!"
Which is funny because next a guy named Simon helps him carry the cross. This guy from Cyrene just happens by, and they make him carry this cross. Can you imagine? Would I be willing to help a perfect death row stranger carry his cross? (I do admire sister Helen on this one!) Wait, so Simon also helped carry our cross, right? So, how can we help each other carry our crosses? I want to be like Simon! I love helping!
Ooh, the next station is a fountain of pain for me. Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem. Read "God's Will". That's all I'm saying.
Then, "Jesus is Crucified". This only happened once. Isaac described stations of the cross as living the crucifixion again, but really being there. That's the beautiful part of this form of prayer. You are meant to put yourself into the scene. Jesus is crucified. They hung him on the cross...with nails. You are there. Watching. How do you feel about the whole thing? Where are you in this picture?
While he's hanging there, Jesus has a chat with the boys next to him. One guy is running his mouth, mocking Jesus, being an idiot. The other guy gets it. "Dude, he didn't do anything wrong. We got what we deserved, he did nothing!" Then he said the words that chant in my head when times are hard, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom." Which guy are you? Jesus said yes, by the way. He said that very day that thief would be in Paradise with him. Lucky thief!
Now Jesus shows his mercy to his Mom. I never fully understood Mary until I had a son. Don't get me wrong, I know my sons are awesome, but not quite Jesus yet. So He sees his Mom standing there, probably sobbing. (I'm no Mary, but I would be.) And He sees his best, most beloved friend (possibly also crying, I don't know) and he gives them to each other. Who does He give to you to be his stand-in? Whose hand does He give you to hold? Who does He give YOU to? Are you being a good replacement?
Jesus dies.
They place him in a tomb hewn from the rock. Joseph (not his step-dad, a different one) wrapped him up reverently and gave him a decent burial. The Mary's sat and waited, looking at the big rock covering the hole.
This would be the saddest story ever written if this were the end.
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