He's Leaving...

He's leaving...

It's true.  My son is leaving and I'm afraid of what will happen to him.  He's a great guy with a good head on his shoulders and he's such a huge part of my heart that I just can't help but worry about him.

I have saved up so many precious memories of him in my heart.  I remember when he was born, how I lost the "urge to push" so he looked like he had been wearing a hat for a few hours after he was born.  I remember being amazed by how much I could love another person when I first saw his face.  I remember the funny way he used to crawl. He laid on his back and pushed his feet to scoot himself along, occasionally looking around to redirect himself.

I remember cuddling him as a baby.  I remember spending time with him as a toddler and reading together as he got older.  I love the cute way he mispronounced things.  I love the way he's always had a quiet confidence about him, even when he was smaller than the other kids. I love the way that he never stopped trying when things were difficult.  

And tomorrow he will leave our home again.  He will branch out on his own, taking my heart with him.  He has his own path to follow, and it's time for him to go fulfill his destiny and continue his own journey. He will stand in harm's way to make things better for others, and I fear for him. He will be lonely sometimes, but I don't want him to feel abandoned.  He will be sad, and scared, and I won't be able to help him or protect him.  Some of his friends will let him down.  What if they betray him?  What if he gets hurt?  Or worse.  Will he know how much I love him?  Oh son, please know how much I love you!

A spear pierces this mother's heart...

But the story isn't new.  Another mother.  Another Son.  One son goes to the Cross, one son goes to Afghanistan.  Her son saved mine, and in that grace is where I take refuge and comfort and hope.